Being a first time mom…again

Newborn baby toes

After nine months he is here!

Nathan John Carnahan and he is a mamas boy I’m proud to announce! Our last kid (Hailey) was born seven years ago and that was enough time to make me feel like a first time mom again. Guys for the first week I swear I had no idea what I was doing! This is baby number three and I forgot how to swaddle him right or change a diaper. All through pregnancy I would see posts about newborns and think “I don’t need that. After two kids, I’ve got this!” Oh how wrong I was! I can’t count how many times I’ve asked my husband, “Did the girls do that?” “I don’t remember doing that with them!” “Am I doing this right? I don’t think I’m doing this right!” It’s all coming back though! Seven years is a long time to wait for baby number three. However, in my defense, we were done at baby number two so there was a huge change of heart and I’m so glad!

There are so many things that are different this time. So many things that experience has taught us that has changed how we do things with him!

When you have kids, after a while, you tend to look back and see things you would now do differently.

Especially after seven years. There are always those moments that us moms wish we could do differently or decisions we would make different now. (Dads too I’m sure but I wouldn’t know first hand) My big thing is, I wish I would have held my girls more. They are too big for me to pick up now although my youngest is so petite that I would occasionally grab her and pick her up to steal a snuggle. At some point during my pregnancy with Nathan, I realized that I would never hold them again and it made me really sad. My babies are no longer babies! With Nathan I am savoring every snuggle and embracing those times he just needs me to hold him. (He might be spoiled) Someday, way to soon, I won’t be able to! He will be going to school like the girls and I will be longing for one more day to hold him and rock him.

In those seven years I’ve learned that right now is so important!

Every second and every amazing small thing is so huge and we need, for our own sanity, to hold onto it. To savor it since it will be gone too soon. These little moments will be what we will struggle to remember in detail.

For me, this is why I am so passionate about photography. Time goes by no matter how desperately we wish it would pause but photos are a way to freeze time and bring back memories we will forget. Today we all have such unlimited access to cameras. We carry one with us everywhere. I believe this is such a gift that we should use. Within the first 48 hours after Nathan was born I had taken over 500 photos. Not all of which I kept but I definitely kept more than necessary! (Thank goodness for Amazon photos!) They are not newborns for nearly long enough and once the phase is gone its not coming back and that’s ok! That’s life but to record it and be able to hold onto the smiles, the cries, the naps, the little details. They give us the chance to fall back into those little memories.

I was inspired by this years ago and thats where “develop your story” came from.

Every photo is apart of your life…

Your kids will never be this young. They might stop doing that one thing that makes you melt. That thing you guys do together might go away but if you can capture it, it wont be lost!

My goal as a new mom again is to hold on a little longer. To love a little harder and to capture what means most while living in every moment.

So no matter if this post seems irrelevant to you or maybe exactly what you needed I hope you take this one thing from it and that’s that life might not go as planned but it is full of little miracles! Little moments that are gone before we often notice them! They are worth searching for! Worth savoring! I hope today you see how valuable your life and all the little pieces that make it what it is is. I hope that that little truth makes a difference in your life today!

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